Sugar and Stress

September 12, 2017


I'm feeling overwhelmed this morning.  I have a project that must be ready in two months and five days, and I'm feeling afraid I'll fail and let people down and let myself down.  And that makes me want to stuff my face, especially with something sweet. 

This is a repeat pattern, and I must deal with it.  I'm going to have stress, and I am not going to stop putting myself out there in challenging situations.  It's the only way, in my opinion, for me to grow.

Based on past experience, I suspect I'll make this deadline and not just that, I suspect I'll shine.  But I've started later than I'd planned, and I feel behind and overwhelmed by the task.  So, I now have a list of things to do, and I've done the preliminary work of gathering books from my shelves and e-books, plays, and scripts from the Internet.  I've also requested other books and movies from the library and will pick those up today.  Then, I truly start and pace myself. 

One thing I need to remember:  This is a fun project.  Yes, it's work, but I get to read novels, to read plays, to read screenplays, and to watch a couple of movies.  And some of the novels and all of the plays are classics by folks like Shakespeare and Austen.  I don't want to miss the fun of this.  And if I have to take a day or two off from work, I will.  I'll also forego a few more things along the way, for example, waiting to go to the museum for a new exhibit and waiting to read most other books of fiction (though a favorite author's book is being released in October, and I hope to squeeze that one in).  I might listen to creative nonfiction in my car, and I will be writing.  Always, I will write.

Part of me likes the cocoon I'm entering.  I've missed this kind of focus, and I want to carry it forward with a writing project beginning about a month after the lecture.

I'll make an assessment every week about where I am and what is left to do to make the deadline.  And I'm hoping the work and success tamp down the urge to eat sugar.