Hunger, Part XI

September 1, 2017

Deprivation can cause hunger in its own way.  Deprivation can cause trouble, in anything.  Deprivation can turn craving into a monster. We often want what we tell ourselves we cannot have (often as opposed to what we may not have).

I struggled with this in August.  At the end of July, I decided to change my relationship to sweets and sugar by not eating dessert-type for 30 days.  That included cake, ice cream, frozen yogurt, cookies, candy, pudding, pie, and chocolate.  There were days when this was harder than others.  Also, as I read more about food and eating, I read that deprivation is connected to the diet industry, and I didn't want to fall into that trap.  Still, I persisted, but this was more to keep a promise to myself than to deprive myself.

As I move forward, will I perhaps make some other guideline for myself, such as once or twice a week?  I'm not sure.  But I do want to be careful about deprivation, because with food and other things, that can lead to a rabbit hole I do not wish to visit.

Today, I am having Peanut Butter M&Ms.  The unopened package has been in my desk for about a week.  I've measured out what I'll eat, and I'm eating slowly.  The candy is tasting rich to me, richer than I remember. Welcome back, chocolate.